Comments...

...are few but for my friend Tom.  We are brothers though.  I mean this more for my own...some thoughts lately that aren't really formulated enough for a single post.  First, I am most humbled for the fact that anyone is reading this...second, I'm grateful you do.  I really mean that...

I've been hunting hard getting out almost every day.  It is an addiction I suppose...walking up that hill is invigorating and the sitting in a tree stand is meditative.  The cold wind is not cold if you like it and I like it.  To put your face into a strong cold wind and just feel it is a good thing...like remembering something painful that must be remembered.  It really doesn't hurt...its just a feeling.  I've had great views from that treestand already.  Bucks and does right under me...some not knowing I'm there.  Some busting me with a snort and a wheeze.  I love it all...so peaceful but with a sense of reality of the kill.  Something already discussed but it really is never easy after...it does become spriitual for days.  So far I've only been tempted by a pair of 2 1/2 year old 8 pointers...one wide and short tined and the other the opposite, tall and narrow.  Both typical of the whitetail genes in this valley.  Almost two distinctly different genetics...the first was the wide 8 and I never noticed it until it was right under me.  It came from behind and quietly...by the time I heard it, it was too close to move for my bow.  It took a right turn and I waited to look but when I did it hadn't moved far and busted me.  It must have been a comical sight from a distance that would make a great picture.  The old cat and mouse game.  But, not clear which is which.   That wider than the ears 8 pointer wasn't sure what I was but walked away in the other direction slowly...all behind the large tree I was in.  Ten minutes later I still couldn't find it so I slowly stood up and there it busted me for sure about 40 yards away.  I never really had a shot but I don't think I would have taken it...yet. 

The second 2 1/2 year old 8 point came up the same trail behind me and I didn't hear it until it was in the same place as the first an hour earlier.  Only I didn't move and it went to the left just 5 yards away from the tree I was in offering a good quartering away shot.  It never saw me and I never reached for my  bow.  The G3 was broke on the right side and it would be a great buck someday.  Besides, either of those bucks would be great for my sons.  We hope to get out this weekend and give it a try.  The last few days have been empty but enjoyable.  It is probably the best thing for my health both mental and physical and each time I take that walk up that hill I enjoy it as if its the last time I do.  Like fishing for trout, it is my gauge for being truly alive...

Then, there is this writing...I enjoy it as long as I don't read it.  My streaming consciousness style is fine for short work like here but serious writing is so difficult for me that I have tried to write the same book for the last 25 years.  I know it but can't write it.  The longhanded versions here are helping and I am focused on writing it again.  I appreciate any indulgence being accepted for what it is.  A learning experience of my own as I write much of this.  And, hopefully helpful in telling a story that really needs to be told.

Another thing I might approach...the music and a spirituality.  Music has come back to me in a big way...I suppose a spirituality goes with it.  But, both have brought me joy.  I'm comfortable with the music but my mother raised me to be a preacher...I didn't find this out until I was fourteen.  Too late then and my apologies if any of this gives offense.  My religion is my fathers...and wish it on no one else.  My father was this way and it goes back to his German birth and I suppose his fathers...quiet but strong was his belief.  He could swear as if a prayer...never using vulgar language but would quietly say jesus christ or god damn in a way that never sounded wrong.  Just a beseachment.  Some of that tone may be in myself and believe me I mean no arrogance.  But, my mother was the opposite and expected more of me.  Some of that had to stick, too.  While I welcome all word and support, I will watch my own preaching.  And, leave it in the music...

...it will be good for my karma, too.  In the woods it seems that karma is science.  Scent control and stand position or time of day and just having the right attitude to sit out on cold days and not see anything and not let it get to you.  To have a fresh attitude each day...today can always be the day.  Oops...there I go preaching again.  I did catch it though and in pennance offer some photos of this falls bow hunting.  My religion for now...